In space, there exists hundreds of thousands of aliens, each one more unique then the last, but perhaps one of the most known to the people of Earth were the Space Nazis. Yes, the oh so loveable Right Wing jew exterminating psychopaths who brought 6 years of war to Europe are, in many ways, alien. Space Nazis are one of the most increasingly dangerous races in the galaxy, because by a most methods of detection, they are simply ignored. This is because unlike most other sentient beings, they are virtually invisible to the eye.Dwelling in the facial hair of any creature they come across, existing as little bigger then dust mites, they slowly trek up the nasal passages of said creature an into the brain, where they hi-jack the beings senses and begin to colonise the planet with insane doctrines, so they can spread their cruel ways across the stars.
Perhaps one of the most feared beings in the galaxy, due to their small size and inability to be located until the feet of their grand plan takes route, it is often too late to save anyone one the planet has been infected, and standard procedure in cases of infection is to firestrike the planet to dust. Luckily for the denizens of the universe, The Space Nazis can only breed once they have a host, and can only spread through spacecrafts where they forge small cities in the corners until landing.
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A host entered the control room of the great Space Nazi controlled Space Ship Vierte Wand Zerstörer. He approached the man sitting in the command chair - a tall, strong man with a small and tidy moustache – and carried a dataslate. He wore angered look on his face, handed the dataslate and then looked down directly at the floor. The man in the command chair scanned the slate quickly with his eyes and as he progressed down it his calm face filled slowly with rage until it reached boiling point.
“VAT IS DIS!!” He raged, bursting from his chair in a rage and throwing the dataslate across the room smashing it into a wall, breaking it to pieces. “EDIOTS!! VAT IS DIS MADNESS!!!!!!!!” He stormed on, taking the host by the throat and pushing him to the floor. “IMBECILE!!!”
The messenger looked up, recoiling in fear from the wrath of his master, looking up in horror. “Mein Führer, dies ist ein kritischer Handlungs punkt in dieser Geschichte, haben sie nicht das Skript gelesen? Sie Gott verdamter Idiot, manchmal glaub ich ihnen ist es wohl egal ob sie ihre Arbeit richtig machen oder nicht??” He spoke, a slight irate twist thrown in, as if challenging his commander’s decision.
The commander sighed deeply, and calmed down, and waved the messenger to rise and explain more.
"Okay. Nochmal von vorne, nur zur Erinnerung: Dieser verabscheuungswürdige Gauner hat so eben eine Bruchlandung hingelegt und ist kurz davor die Szene zu verlassen. Wiedemauchsei, wir können das natürlich gar nicht wissen, weil er uns während der Verfolgungsjagd abgeschüttelt hat, die er sich mit uns geliefert hat nachdem er eines unserer größten Raumschiffe ausgräumt hatte. So gesehen ist das quasi der Hintergrund für das, was jetzt hier gerade passiert. Aber im Grunde spielt das alles auch überhaupt keine Rolle, weil mal abgesehen von Monkey eh niemand verstehen wird was hier geschrieben steht. Himmelherrgottsakra, die wissen alle nicht einmal, dass das hier die Vierte Wand auf so viele grausige Arten bricht, dass ich denen locker von hier auf die Schulter klopfen könnte!”
“Very vell, pileets, set course,ve vill vind this rogue eeven eef we must scour ze entire galaxy!!”
And on his order, the thrusters of the hive ship activated, propelling them into full star warp, in hope of having more success then the last group of idiots that chased after him.
Perhaps one of the most feared beings in the galaxy, due to their small size and inability to be located until the feet of their grand plan takes route, it is often too late to save anyone one the planet has been infected, and standard procedure in cases of infection is to firestrike the planet to dust. Luckily for the denizens of the universe, The Space Nazis can only breed once they have a host, and can only spread through spacecrafts where they forge small cities in the corners until landing.
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A host entered the control room of the great Space Nazi controlled Space Ship Vierte Wand Zerstörer. He approached the man sitting in the command chair - a tall, strong man with a small and tidy moustache – and carried a dataslate. He wore angered look on his face, handed the dataslate and then looked down directly at the floor. The man in the command chair scanned the slate quickly with his eyes and as he progressed down it his calm face filled slowly with rage until it reached boiling point.
“VAT IS DIS!!” He raged, bursting from his chair in a rage and throwing the dataslate across the room smashing it into a wall, breaking it to pieces. “EDIOTS!! VAT IS DIS MADNESS!!!!!!!!” He stormed on, taking the host by the throat and pushing him to the floor. “IMBECILE!!!”
The messenger looked up, recoiling in fear from the wrath of his master, looking up in horror. “Mein Führer, dies ist ein kritischer Handlungs punkt in dieser Geschichte, haben sie nicht das Skript gelesen? Sie Gott verdamter Idiot, manchmal glaub ich ihnen ist es wohl egal ob sie ihre Arbeit richtig machen oder nicht??” He spoke, a slight irate twist thrown in, as if challenging his commander’s decision.
The commander sighed deeply, and calmed down, and waved the messenger to rise and explain more.
"Okay. Nochmal von vorne, nur zur Erinnerung: Dieser verabscheuungswürdige Gauner hat so eben eine Bruchlandung hingelegt und ist kurz davor die Szene zu verlassen. Wiedemauchsei, wir können das natürlich gar nicht wissen, weil er uns während der Verfolgungsjagd abgeschüttelt hat, die er sich mit uns geliefert hat nachdem er eines unserer größten Raumschiffe ausgräumt hatte. So gesehen ist das quasi der Hintergrund für das, was jetzt hier gerade passiert. Aber im Grunde spielt das alles auch überhaupt keine Rolle, weil mal abgesehen von Monkey eh niemand verstehen wird was hier geschrieben steht. Himmelherrgottsakra, die wissen alle nicht einmal, dass das hier die Vierte Wand auf so viele grausige Arten bricht, dass ich denen locker von hier auf die Schulter klopfen könnte!”
“Very vell, pileets, set course,ve vill vind this rogue eeven eef we must scour ze entire galaxy!!”
And on his order, the thrusters of the hive ship activated, propelling them into full star warp, in hope of having more success then the last group of idiots that chased after him.
1 comment:
dear sir, it has been brought to my attention by an anonymous informant, let's call him "the search function of my browser" for now, that your stories still show a continued lack of ducks. i feel compelled to inform the proper authorities to take you away for a thorough re-duck-ucation.
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